After a whirlwind week in Portland packing up my grandma's apartment for a move into assisted living and helping my mom negotiate grandma's move and her own healthcare, I came back home and took my final for midwifery school without really having spent any time studying at all.  After months of frustration with my school, I really enjoyed and appreciated the final. It reminded me of how much I knew, and tested truly applicable midwifery knowledge.  There were a few essays, but mostly multiple choice which is sort of ridiculous, as the answers are given to you -- your own knowledge is really tested when you have to come up with the answers yourself.  In my math classes in college, there were a lot of take-home, open-book tests where you could have all the resources you wanted, because the questions required you to use the skills from the class in innovative ways, rather than spit out rote answers you could find in the book.  This was not thabout, and I'm quite confident that I passed.  That means I've completed the academic midwifery program I set out to do.  But I still have 20 births to attend and skill to improve upon.  I am contemplating a move to Oregon soon, and am beginning to think about finding an apprenticeship there.  I am celebratory that I am done with this program, but the journey is far from over.  Everybody says, "Oh, now you're a midwife," and I look forward to the day when I can answer "Yes, I am!"  I imagine the NARM exam will be a little more intensive.  We'll see. 

Units two and three of the distance midwifery program found to be acceptable by the powers that be.  Now only...9 more units to get feedback on, a final exam to take, my CPM to get.  Hurry up!

I'm looking forward to my workshop at Rainbow Natural Remedies in July, my initial visits with two midwifery clients this week, trying to schedule a meeting w/ Senator Cantwell (or, more likely, her staff) to talk out of hospital birth and the crapiness of the insurance industry in the context of health care reform.  But really, what I'd like is some time w/ Jamie to play Mario Kart Wii and for my broken rib to stop hurting.

After a telephone conversation with the head of my distance midwifery program today, I am convinced that I will, in fact, finish completely.  Soon. 

Thank god, goddess, fairies, angels, family, friends, everyone and everything!

So, remember how I said I was done with my midwifery program?  Yeah, uh, almost.  I have a skills checklist which I thought was a little more checked off than it turns out to be, and I've been told by the program that I have to apply (and pay for) an extension to get the program completed.  I guess I was a little vague on the details, and expecting a little more flexibility from the school.  But no dice.  I've gone through all the stages of grieving with this -- I SO wanted to be done.  Now, it just feels like there will never be a "done." 

When I'm at home by myself with the baby, she takes so much of my focus.  I can sometimes (like, now) write a blog post, check my email, browse repro health and midwifery blogs and internet forums, or play on Facebook.  None of thee things requires even close to a majority of my brain space.  But schoolwork is a whole other story.  I want to really be able to focus, so the text book regurgitation process which is most of my work actually sinks some of the info into my brain.  And if I'm keeping an eye out that the baby doesn't roll off the bed, or watching for potty signs, or walking her around in the carrier to try and get her to sleep, there's a big part of me that isn't quite present for the learning.  I'm trying to figure out how to do both at the same time, because I have to get this program done.  I'm kicking myself for choosing a program with time limits, but I know I did this on purpose to keep myself from never getting it done.  I'm also trying to remind myself that the distance learning program that I'm doing isn't a snooty liberal arts college.  The expectations I have for myself as a student, not to mention the expectations my professors had at Smith College, are probably really different from the expectations of the midwives who put together this program, seemingly without the aid of a proof reader or the grammar-check feature on the computer.  But I'm not sure I know how to do academics any differently.  I chose this program so I could do it my way, and my way is pretty thorough, pretty long-winded, and pretty slow (due in large part to massive procrastination on my part).  I hope I get it done in time. 

So, now off to find something else to do to procrastinate my school work...