I dream of offering a series of workshops, on nutrition, options for care in birth, prenatal testing, common complaints of pregnancy, alternative healing in pregnancy, family planning, relaxation and visualization, anatomy and physiology of labor and birth, coping mechanisms in labor, prenatal exercise, postpartum preparation, breastfeeding.  Part prenatal yoga, part 70's style self help and "rap" group, part childbirth education class.  Anyone could come to the workshops. They could be a resource for women and families choosing unassisted pregnancy and birth, and for women wanting to birth in the hospital, but wanting a more "natural" pregnancy experience.  People could come while they're trying to concieve to prepare for pregnancy. Each time we could do some stretching before the workshop, and some relaxation at the end.  I could have someone do childcare, so people could bring their kids, but also be able to focus on the information.  We would do all the normal stuff of prenatals -- blood pressure checks, urine dipsticks, uterine measurement, palpation.  But all the women would learn how to do it for themselves, and be instrumental in creating their own pregnancy charts.  For my midwifery clients, the workshops would be their prenatal visit.  I would make sure to spend some one-on-one time with each client (and their family), maybe after the main workshop or during a lunch.  People could chat and have snacks, meeting other new parents, while each family did their individual visit with me.  As my  clients needed more frequent vistis later in their pregnancy, then we would have some some additional private prenatals, as home visits to get comfortable in that space.  It seems like such a far-off goal, but it doesn't really have to be, I guess.  I could just start doing it, offering the classes, for free, every other Saturday or something.  And eventually people will come.  Eventually I'll be a midwife and able to do prenatal care and births.  But now I'm all stressed out about how to be a mom and work and finish school and start a new aprenticeship that what I aspire to seems like it's not the priority right now.  Maybe in a few weeks, when things settle down, I'll believe in what I aspire to.